Starting with open conversations
When I was teaching Aboriginal history in schools, I made a deliberate choice to start with open conversations. Parents were invited to ask me anything — no limits, no judgment.
Over the years, I facilitated more than 100 of these sessions. The most common questions parents asked were: 'What do Aboriginal people want?' and 'What can I do?'
And the most common statement was: 'I teach my children to treat everyone the same, to see no difference.'
Why sameness is not fairness
The first few times I heard that statement, I felt angry. Because while the intent is good, the impact can be harmful.
We are not all the same. Pretending otherwise erases identity, culture, and lived reality. Think of your siblings — the people closest to you genetically. Are you the same? No. You are different. Difference is part of being human. Our challenge is not to ignore it, but to notice it, respect it, and celebrate it.
When we teach children to 'see no difference,' we risk teaching them to look away from culture, history, and identity. We deny them the chance to be curious, to ask questions, and to learn.
The inner voice of judgement
Every human being has a voice of judgement inside. It speaks up every time we enter a space and meet someone new. The real work is not to silence that voice or pretend it doesn't exist. The real work is to recognise it, question it, and challenge it.
Hard conversations in school halls
When I challenged the idea of sameness in those parent sessions, some people cried. Some shouted. Some walked out. At first, I thought this was white fragility. But over time I came to see it as part of something deeper — an ingrained way Australian society teaches people to think about equality.
We've been taught that 'treating everyone equally' means treating everyone the same. But true fairness means recognising difference, adapting to it, and building systems that respect it.
Why this matters now
We see the consequences of ignoring difference in workplaces, schools, and communities. It shows up in hiring practices that prize 'cultural fit.' In performance reviews that fail to account for cultural load. In leaders who say 'we treat everyone equally here' while avoiding the harder work of creating culturally safe environments.
A better way forward
So how do we move beyond sameness? Here are four steps I continue to practice myself:
- Name difference — Don't erase it. Acknowledge people's culture, history, and identity.
- Respect difference — Make space for it. Create environments where diversity is celebrated, not silenced.
- Challenge judgement — When your inner voice makes an assumption, pause and ask: where did that come from?
- Adopt a growth mindset — See difference as an invitation to learn, not as a problem to solve.
I don't always get it right. None of us do. But I keep working at it, because creating spaces that are both safe and brave requires practice.
We need to stop telling ourselves and our children that 'we are all the same.' We are not. And that is a beautiful truth.