Last week I had the privilege of being the cultural facilitator for the Koori Magistrates' Court Conference. The privilege of that role is not lost on me. In that room sat incredible Elders and cultural leaders, First Nations staff who work across justice, and non-Indigenous leaders in the Magistrates Court, including the Chief Magistrate and the CEO.
The first thing that I need to acknowledge is that the organisers of the conference gave me the space to facilitate in a brave and culturally safe way. There was an opportunity to sit and navigate through conversations and spaces as required. To step into difficult, vulnerable spaces, to be curious, and to also know when we need to step back and bring us back to the spaces that everyone in the room wants to be in.
I often like to reflect on what is said, how it's said, what outcomes people want, and how people generally fill the space of the room. In my language, we call this connection or 'space filling' Dhungai, a Yugambeh word taught to me by an uncle. It was described to me as: "When I breathe out, everything else breathes in. When it breathes out, I breathe in. The space between those breaths is Dhungai. This is the connection and space that First Nations people live in." As I reflected on that room and the incredible conversations that occurred, I recognised a connection between our community ways of doing and Brené Brown own's conversations on shame, vulnerability, and empathy.
I should start by saying that I'm a big fan of Brené Brown. She gives language to a lot of spaces that we sit in as First Nations people. Spaces that we lead in. She has also helped me make sense of all the work I did with children in care and how I was able to culturally facilitate those programs. With that in mind, it's really important to recognise that Brenés research doesn't focus on First Nations leadership, management styles and communication methods. Maybe a challenge for her next book :). In fact, we could all learn a lot from First Nations Peoples, and I do truly believe that First Nations leaders and Elders are incredibly good in this space of difficult, brave conversations. A space that managers and business leaders need to step into more.
So here's my example. Brené talks about how shame becomes the armour that we use to protect ourselves from being vulnerable and showing empathy. Shame occurs when you hear somebody talking about something traumatic or challenging, and you immediately feel shame. Shame is almost entirely a focus on self, and it shouldn't be confused with guilt. Guilt is a focus on behaviour. Brené says, "Shame is 'I am bad,' guilt is 'I did something bad.'" It's important to understand the difference. Now I can speak and write about these for hours. But that is not what this blog is about. Well, it sort of is.
In the room last week, Elders and community leaders stood up and talked about many traumatic events. Very personal stories. Stories of pain and trauma in direct relation to the justice system. Stories of abandonment, abuse, deaths in custody, and being repeatedly let down by systems that are supposed to support us. I know what this feels like. A few years ago, my cousin was shot and killed by the police in Queensland. Talking about that with the elders and community leaders in the room helps me to heal. It helps them to heal. Those stories create unity and build a stronger purpose for change. There really is a simple connection between these conversations and listening and the changes that we want to make in our organizations. The conversations may be different, but the bravery required is still the same.
As these stories were shared, it would be natural as an outsider reading about this to feel uncomfortable. It is not something we naturally step into as a society. Yet it is something that First Nations people step into often. The best part of that conference was when Elders and leaders spoke about trauma. The room was filled with love, kindness, and empathy. It would be easy to assume that this was a one-off created space, and yes, you certainly do need a combination of creating the right environment for facilitation and leadership, but the whole room has to commit to accepting the vulnerable space. We collectively created a brave space for brave conversations which could be held whilst we focused on change. The important part is being brave enough to step into the uncomfortableness.
Here's the incredible observation that I witnessed last week. In order to achieve a space like that, you need people who don't lead with shame. You need people who are curious and brave and willing to step into conversations with real empathy. You need to understand that Dhungai is not just words. It is the presence and the energy that you give off in a space. In that room was vulnerable, empathetic, kind, and curious leadership. And the best way for me to describe that is that it is the essence of Aboriginality and our connection. It is Dhungai. It is in every breath that we are connected to all things around us.
Australia, well actually, the world could learn a lot from First Nations approaches to leadership, management, communication, and healing. We are way more incredible than the deficit stories that have been given to us by others. I believe as leaders, if we understand this space better, these methods better, we'd be far better leaders. I'd also challenge leaders like Brené Brown to understand how our First Nations people lead in such an incredible manner.
As we move into 50 years of NAIDOC Week, maybe it's a chance for us all to reflect on the true brilliance and beauty of First Nations communities: the fact that we are still here, that we have survived, and that possibly we might know something about connection and listening and communication. How else could you survive in a country like this for 60,000 plus years?
Stay Deadly
Shawn
#NAIDOCWeek #50YearsOfDeadly